Yeah the 8 miles were my idea but in the same time I was trying to impress u because u said that T never did anything active.... Translation I was suckin wind pretty hard but just the feeling that someone was actually into what I felt then doing 8 miles was even easier than i thought. Idk last night u said that u couldnt sleep and that ur pissed at urself for a number of reasons....
The first being that ur pissed u gave into synchro.... The only thing i can say is that when i was never able to play competitive soccer again i missed it so much. Ur lucky because u get to end ur career a champion, with a little more money in ur pocket. I know its gonna take hard work, tired evenings, and stress and drama.... Seriously by now ur probably used to those whats one more month?
The second being that ur pissed at urself for being here... Idk if that here physically or here emotionally.... Physically here in this part of the country is for school, and maybe it is something with us that still needs to be figured out.... The emotionally here point i feel like ur starting to feel somewhat in the same boat as i am.... I know where u are and i can see that ur not happy.... Just try looking forward to being out of school and looking forward to the last few months in ohio because im sure ur never coming back.... not for me or ur family.... Trust me that realization is killing me
Ur mad at urself for feeling this way but in reality ur just caring about the right decision.... thanks for that i really do feel honored that im even being thought of at this point....
The final point was that part of u wants to jump backk into things wiht me to make it easier....
Idk waht to say to this.... its probably better that we arent together because once the summer happens we're gonna be back here and T is gonna be even more of a factor because hes closer.... im not gonna lie that i would probably get back together with u if there were some changes in both of us.... There needs to be more of an emphasis on being happy and I need to be the only guy on ur mind.... Not the case right now.... So idk i feel like u can recover from this and that we can too.... I hope one day i do get another shot with u but seriously we both kinda know that thats not gonna happen.... I mean ur done with ohio once school is out and ur never looking back.... Ur gone pedal to the floor running from here....
I guess I would just settle for a slow down..........
DSF
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