I feel like the last couple years and months of my life have been revolved around finding "the one" Im pretty sure that that person exists only in dreams.
If u find someone who makes u really happy and is willing to devote themselves to a life with u then jump on it and work with them. Im sorry for all the confusion dealing with this situation but i feel like i had a right to be confused. If he is who makes u happy then i'll swallow the huge lump of frustration and disgust for him and try to like him. I dont think ur gonna read this anymore but it just feels good to realize all this for me and see it because im saying it.
Im not sure why i keep coming back to this point in my recovery where im just kinda like fuck it all sorta thing. One day i hope i get another chance at a girl who makes me as happy as u did. I hope the lonely nights apart and the solitary mornings for each of us move quickly so we dont dwell on things.... Im trying to be over u and im trying to feel better. I just wish life never gets this bad again.
I'll leave this with the first two lines of the song i just wrote....
Forever is a mystery
Tomorrow never comes
I've been fighting through our history
Hoping to be done...
I've cruised through the finish
waiting to see this through
living in the moment
I relish
but still Im empty and blue
Cause im slitting my wrist with lollipops
Waiting for this call not to drop
Feelings to deep, to deep to stop
I listened and now Im drifting from reality....
You'll see me.
Theres more but u dont want to hear it anyways.... trust me it flows on the guitar.... im kinda proud of it
Dante
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