Im not sure....

So basically im not sure and have no idea what, who, why, or how i want my life to be with....

Im just so physically tired of being down.... I just want a moment of time for me to be happy....

Everything, except for the feelings that people are telling u not to feel, leads to him and there and life past ohio.....

I just wish that i were in his shoes for 5 minutes and actually feel ur complete love and devotion like he did.... I never got to experience H without synchro and without all the other drama in life....

I would give the world to be there and just feel like i had a fighting chance for a day....

Lets face it i know u love me because we share this bond of feelings, people are holding u back from feeling them and it sucks because no one is telling u not to feel them for him.... Just fighting a losing battle, my emotions are so far stretched to each side of the spectrum that idk what to feel what to believe what to know and what to see.... I am done worrying about other feelings and im done sugar coating things to protect u....

Heres what i really want and feel. I want to be the ONLY person that u think about when we hang out, like u were when we first started, ur a mentally tough person and ur not giving me a chance because u think all these feelings result in needing more time, I say bullshit.... ur afraid to head down a path like that with me because u wont let him go.... nor do u want to.... I guess it sucks because i never treated u like he did and i never would but right now i gotta look after me....

I enjoy the fact that i am even considered in ur feelings and ur mom telling u not to lead me on just explains to me that im not the only person that knows whats gonna happen... Ur gonna leave the buckeye state behind and everyone whos here is gone from the picture too including me... as much as u want to tell me thats not the case H u know that hes gonna win out because simply because we were dating and he stole ur heart from me.... Something i could never and WOULD NEVER do... thats low...

I respected the relationship probably when u were most vulnerable in ur life, think about it I could have been HBS the III...

I guess why im feeling so weird is because i feel like the other guy... like ur already with him mentally and it sucks because i never got a chance....

DSF