Sunday, October 11, 2009

Honesty solves all...

So first off the day with the gf has comepletely left me in shock and awe because she is the only thing in my life that I will do anything and everything to strive for. I know that that feeling goes both ways and im working extremely hard to stop being jealous and trust her completely.... Its not that I dont trust her its just the fact that I am so terrified of letting her slip through my grasp that I feel like im forcing her into choices that she doesn't want to make, meaning staying home instead of shopping or whatever.  So from this point on I am going to live by the 38 Special song "Hold on loosely" basically im gonna force myself to let anything go on completely take the ties off her so she can have the freedom that she deserves, I know she would never hurt me but at the slim chance that her ex or any other guy catches her eye Im sure I will not be able to recover..... ever.....

Onto the next one. HCS listen to what Im saying and actually hear this, National Team or School, its a big choice that unfortunately u have to make alone.... If it helps at all u know how much u mean to me, and I am so proud of u and always will be... If u give it all up completely and join some crazy ass dance class I will still be proud of u. Thats number 1. Number 2, your parents and all family members love u and dont give a damn one way or another about what u do, they ultimately want their baby girl to be happy, remember that.  Your team will surely miss u that goes without saying, but maybe its time to join a new team.... of designers where u can start making millions so I dont have to work anymore..... Idk just a thought. The girls u coach wont care one way or another if u decide career or sport because ur still gonna be the great coach that they want to learn from and look up to as an adult, mentor, icon not because u swim on the national team but simply because ur the sweetest and most caring person that knows how to please a child while coaching them at the same time.  I will support your decision regardless and will support u in whatever direction u take, I would be lying if I said that I didnt want u to be in town for the next 2 years but if u choose to go we'll figure something out. So ultimately the weighted pressure of letting people down is no longer an issue because its YOUR life not theirs and U get to decide what happens during it.

Next quitting......... I dont think thats the right terminology, I would say skipping a chapter to get to the action is a better way of putting it. U didnt fail, u accomplished every athletes dream of wearing red, white, and blue. Ur a national champion, and are well on ur way to repeat, so failing doesnt work either. Put that out of ur mind and look at what would make u the happiest. School+Guy or Sport+Guy...Notice I will be in either choice.

Im dead tired.

Im gonna end on with a little food for thought. 
Which one will help your future? Which one will make you happy?

The glass is half full
DSF

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